Totally forgot to mention this . . .

I recently did a collaborative review with Engie @ Musings From Neville’s Navel, for the Doctor Who episode: “The Witch’s Familiar.” 

But Matt! That episode came out over a week ago, and the review itself came out five days ago. 

Yeah, well too bad. You should all go over and comment on it anyway, and then maybe check the rest of the blog out. Then you should go take that Sarcastic vs. Genuine quiz I did a few days ago, because c’mon, guys, I need more participants. 

In completely, one hundred percent related note, last night I had a dream that a release date for The Winds of Winter was announced, and then just twenty minutes ago I found myself questioning whether that had actually happened. It didn’t.

Needless to say, I’m disappointed.

____________________________________

“Life is meaningless and full of pain.”—-George R. R. Martin.

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Everything You Need to Know About Me, In Bullet Form

  • My name is Matt. Or is it?
  • My last three posts received a disappointingly low amount of comments, and I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps they were of lesser quality, sure, but one of them was about Doctor Who, and my Doctor Who-related posts have always done well. Seriously, all I have to do is post a picture of the Tardis and my views will skyrocket. For example:
Bam. Freshly pressed.
  • Anywho, I realize that the reason for my decline in readers is almost definitely due to the lack of posting as of late, so I apologize. That being said, are there any teen bloggers out there with blogs that I don’t know about? Because I’d like to meet some more teen bloggers. And if you’re a teenage male blogger, please let me know, because lately I’ve been wondering if I am the last of my kind. Is this how the Doctor felt after the time war?
  • Yes, I’m sure this is exactly how he felt.
  • Also, I tried using bloglovin’ a few days ago, but I’m not really a fan of what I’ve seen so far.
  • My hobbies include reading, writing, playing guitar hero, googling “Winds of Winter release date,” and being disappointed.
  • Out of all those hobbies above, the third one’s the only one I’m persistent at.
  • I strongly believe that water coming out a hose tastes a billion times better than water coming out of a faucet. “But,” you say, “Water coming out of a hose is unsafe to drink!” Please, I say. I’m sure it’s fine, and even if isn’t, who cares? A little bit of E. coli has never harmed anyone.
  • I also believe that all that tension in the middle east is directly correlated with the lack of marijuana use in the area. Things would be so much happier there if they all just, like, chilled out, y’know?
  • Additionally, I believe that that last little bullet point may have lost me a few followers.
  • I believe that Les Misérables is overrated, but not by much.
  • I don’t have a dog, but if I did I’d name it, “Doc.”
  • I don’t have a cat, but if I did I’d name it, “Go away.”
  • I’m not really a fan of cats.
  • I’m also not a fan of Judge Judy or Doctor Phil. They are both frauds, I say! Not to mention, I just find their shows so painful to watch.
  • I recently co-wrote a review of Doctor Who episode: The Magician’s Apprentice with Engie at Musings from Neville’s Navel. You should all go over there and comment on it. (Review of the second episode coming soon.)
  • Speaking of doctors, did I ever tell you that I kind of want to be one? Well, maybe not a doctor, but something in medicine, like a physician’s assistant, or a nurse practitioner. I hear male nurses are in great demand right now, for some reason.
  • I just want my life to be like Scrubs, okay?
  • I tried a vanilla latte the other day and immediately found myself questioning why such a thing even exists. It tastes like someone ate vanilla ice cream, drank some coffee, vomited it all into a cup and then put it in the microwave for twenty minutes.
  • I’m convinced that Interstellar is the greatest movie ever.
  • I went canoeing in the Hudson River the other day (twas for a field trip). And it was wonderful. So much better than actual school.
  • I didn’t have my phone on  me at the time, so I don’t have any actual pictures of the place, so here’s one I found online:
Remember the Miracle on the Hudson? Wasn’t that great?
  • My blog currently has 2,935 comments. The author of the 3,000th post gets to write a guest post. If they don’t want to write a guest post, they can get a hug instead. If they don’t want a hug, then too bad for them. I’ll just hug someone else.
  • I hate when people end their posts abruptly.

A Quick Recap of Doctor Who: Season Eight

With the ninth season (series?) of Doctor Who just around the corner, I’d say now would be a good time for me to help you get up to speed, so when Saturday, September 19th comes along, you won’t be thinking, “Who’s this guy with the weird eyebrows?” or “how come that blue box thingy is so big on the inside?”

Of course, you could just rewatch it all on your own, but I think it would be easier for all involved if you just read what I have to say, as I sum up each of the season eight episodes for your benefit:

Deep Breath

The season opens with an implausibly large dinosaur wreaking havoc among Victorian London. Madame Vastra, Jenny and Strax (Strax!) are there, and not a single person seems to notice/nor care about Vastra or Strax’s appearance. The show just sort of expects us to go along with it, and I for one have no problem doing so.

The dinosaur coughs up the Tardis, and when the Paternoster Gang opens it up they find a brand new Doctor, who is acting slightly crazier than usual. Due to a ridiculous chain of events involving daleks, a time crack thingy and a new regeneration cycle, the Doctor has changed into his twelfth face. (Technically his thirteenth, but who’s counting?)

“Here we go again,” said Vastra, in a suitably ominous manner.

The rest of the episode can be broken into three separate plots. Plot one follows the Doctor finding out who he is. As a result the character’s pretty wacky for most of the episode. It’s not until the scene right before he may/may not have thrown that dude off the skin balloon that we get to see who he is really is.* Storyline 2 revolves around Clara’s character arc, where she suddenly develops a personality, which was practically unheard of at the time. She is given flaws and problems outside the doctor and she actually, like, grows as a person. Crazy, right?

Storyline 3 (the main one) is all about the mystery of who’s stealing body parts, and I thought it was reasonably well done. Especially the scene in the restaurant with those machine thingies. I don’t think I even breathed during that entire segment.

The episode ends with the mysterious appearance of this woman named Missy. I immediately assume that she’s the female version of the Master, but then dismiss that theory because that would be way too obvious.

*Oh, who am I kidding, he definitely threw that guy off the skin balloon. Classic Twelve, am I right?

Into the Dalek

This was the episode in which we realize just how much of a douche this new Doctor is. “Top layer if you want to say a few words,” was my favorite quote.

We were also introduced to Danny Pink in this episode, and from the moment he and Clara met you could just tell the two of them were going to fall in love. Not because of their amazing chemistry, (har!) but because now that Clara and the Doctor can no longer be a thing, she’s going to need another love interest to make googly eyes over. There’s also this wonderful over the top scene in which a student asks Danny if he ever killed someone, and Danny just sort of stands there as a single, perfect tear falls artfully down his cheek as sad music plays in the background.

I think it’s safe to say that Danny killed someone at one point.

Episode rating: 8.5/10

Robots of Sherwood

Like any Mark Gatiss episode, you can just tell the writers were high when they penned this script. It involved Robin Hood, a bunch of robot people, and an ending involving a golden arrow that made a million viewers all raise a sceptical eyebrow at the same time.

Coleman, who’s been killing it all season IMHO, rocks it again in this episode. Capaldi also rocks it. The guy playing Robin Hood was pretty chill as well.

Episode rating: 7/10

Listen

This was the first Moffat episode that had nothing to do with the season’s arc since The Beast Below, and it was a reminder of just how great he could be when he limits himself to a forty minute, self-contained story.

This episode wasn’t just terrifying and thought-provoking. It was important, despite having little to no future ramifications. It went further back into the Doctor’s past than we’ve ever gone before (I think), and it did so in a way that deepened his character and made perfect sense given everything we knew. It was also, like, really cool.

And I know I complain about Clara a lot (why has she not left yet?), but she was absolutely terrific here. Listen was one of the rare episodes in which she felt like a fleshed out human being, and as a result I was hooked on her every move. Everything she said, every facial expression she made was on point. It makes me upset that Clara was rarely as well written as she was here, because I know Jenna Coleman’s fantastic in the role.

This was a very controversial episode, by the way, and there are many varying different opinions on it throughout the fandom, all of which are perfectly valid. That being said, my opinion is 100% correct and anyone who disagrees with me is a bumbling buffoon.

Episode Rating: 9.9/10. (A tenth of a point is taken off due to the fact that later events in the season have made Orson Pink’s very existence a plot hole, not that I really care.)

Time Heist

My word count is almost at a thousand and I’m not even close to done yet, so I’m going to have speed things up a bit.

Time Heist was a fun, twisty episode, with reasonably interesting side characters and a plausible ending. I am a little bugged at just how easy this bank was to infiltrate. (Why are the vents so big?!)

Episode Rating: 8/10.

The Caretaker

This was the episode in which my enthusiasm for the season started to falter. It’s here that we get the start of that horrifically contrived Danny-Doctor conflict (ugh) and that scene in which Danny saves the day with a ridiculous somersault flip.

On the bright side, we were properly introduced to Courtney, who everyone on the internet seems to hate, but not me. She was rad, guys.

Episode Rating: 5.5/10. 

Kill the Moon

This was a strange episode, in that it went from great to absolutely horrible and back again, sometimes within minutes of each other. 

The great:

I loved how Clara went off at the Doctor near the end. It was a long time coming, that scene was. Also, the first half of the episode was very tense, and it gave me some Interstellar vibes, despite the fact that I hadn’t actually seen Interstellar until just a few weeks ago.

The horrible:

The entire concept, from the problem (the moon is an egg?) to the solution, (it turns into a dragon, which then immediately lays another egg that’s exactly the same size and shape as the moon), was just terrible. I know a lot of suspension of disbelief is required for this show, but this was too much.

Episode rating: 6/10

Mummy on the Orient Express

Loved this episode. The plot was tense and well done, and the character-work between Clara and the Doctor was great. The idea of having the timer shown on screen was genius.

Well, it wasn’t genius, but I’m glad they decided to do it.

My only quibble with the episode was that there should have been one between this and Kill the Moon, in which the Doctor travels alone for a little while. To have Clara say, “I never want to travel with you again!” at the end of one episode, only to immediately be seen traveling with him in the next, seems a bit cheap. I got over it pretty quickly though, so . . . *shrugs.*

Episode rating: 9/10.

Flatline

Twas a fun episode, and a great one for Clara, and it was only hampered by a bunch of one dimensional, kind of boring side characters. But we also got a tiny tardis, so all its flaws are forgiven.

Episode rating: 8.5/10

In the Forest of the Night

This episode was so bad that after watching it, I immediately drove to the nearest beach and just stared at the horizon for a few days, contemplating the meaning of my existence.

Episode rating: 2/10

Dark Water

Danny dies in the dopiest way possible, and Clara goes to extreme lengths to save him. “I’m in love with Danny Pink,” she says, and I just roll my eyes. I mean, if the show wants me to believe that she was really in love with him then sure, I’ll play along, but it would help if they had some sort of chemistry, or if I had felt anything at all when the two of them were together. (The only time I could remember actually enjoying their relationship was in Listen, and it was all downhill after that.)

The rest of the episode, however, was suitably dark and creepy, and the reveal of the cybermen would’ve been gasp-worthy had the internet not spoiled it weeks before. And that whole concept of people feeling what happens to them after they die was wonderfully disturbing. So disturbing, in fact, that I genuinely found myself wondering what type of effect this could have on the emotional well-being of the children watching it.

Episode Rating: 9/10.

Death in Heaven

So now that Missy’s in the middle of taking over the world with her cyberman, (Oh yeah, Missy is the Master after all, by the way. Totally forgot to mention that.), it’s up to Kate Stewart and the obvious-stand-in-for-the-fans Osgood to save the day. It ends terribly, with Kate getting thrown out of a plane and Osgood being (presumably) blasted into smithereens.

But Missy is defeated in the end, the Doctor realizes he’s an idiot (about goddamn time), and Danny finally stays dead.

I gotta say, this episode would’ve been so much better if Danny wasn’t in it. Every moment he appeared was just annoying to watch. The whole time I was thinking, “just die already, you boring excuse for a character,” and I wasn’t able to truly enjoy the episode because of my (completely understandable, considering the show’s history) fear that Danny would somehow be brought back to life.

On the bright side, Clara gets an appropriate, satisfying ending in this episode. “It appears that’s the last we’ll see of Clara,” I say, starting to look forward to the show’s next companion.

Rating: 6.5/10

Last Christmas

This episode was tense and scary, but it was ultimately ruined by that obnoxious ending.

While I was a bit upset that they were bringing Clara back for another episode, I eventually warmed up to it, and I even ended up shedding a Tardis-shaped tear during the end of the episode, when it appeared that this was Clara’s final good-bye.

That was the perfect ending for Clara, but then the show stomped all over it with a “ha, just kidding! Clara’s here to stay after all!” And while I do like Clara, I think her time has finally come. 

Otherwise, I think the episode itself was really good. It was just that the ending felt so cheap, and it left such a bad taste in my mouth. 

Rating: 6.5/10

So all in all, it was a pretty up and down season. (Aren’t they all?) But I think it was one of the stronger ones, due to the fresh, interesting relationship between the two main characters that admittedly sort of stopped being fresh near the end. Sure, it had its moments of suckiness, but I think we could all agree that it was at least better than season seven. 

Hey, How’s It Going?

You know how I wrote that post in the beginning of the summer, talking all about how I was going to try to avoid the inevitable summer slump? Ha ha, yeah, that didn’t work out at all. I would make a few jokes about it, but I’m afraid it’s too soon for that and besides, I feel really, really bad.

Like, so bad.

As in, badder than Kangaroo Jack.

(Kangaroo Jack was a horrible movie, for anyone who hasn’t seen it. Basically, it centers around these two guys who decide to put a jacket—one with fifty thousand dollars in it— on a kangaroo because they thought it would be funny. Then the audience is supposed to feel bad for them when the wild animal runs away with all their money? Yeah, no. I reject that premise. I reject that whole movie and everyone even vaguely involved in it, and that includes the entirety of Australia. Screw you, Australians.*)

Anyway, I feel like the best way to make this up to you is to give you an idea of what I’ve been doing during these sad, post-less months.

Most importantly, I got a job, almost immediately after the post, “My Quest for a Job,” at McDonalds, and for the most part it hasn’t been completely terrible. The worst thing I’ve done so far was accidentally piss off my gym teacher’s wife. Basically, it was my first day working the counter and she ordered a caramel frappe, which I completely forgot about while trying to keep up with the dozens of other impatient customers in line. Let’s just say, she has a bit of a temper.

Besides angry gym teacher’s wives, my main problem at work seems to be ice cream cones. They are so much harder to make than they look, to me at least. The sheer amount of ice cream I’ve wasted due to botched attempts would make a little kid cry. Also, my experience on the drive-thru was nothing short of a nightmare. It was my second full day on the job, I barely knew what to do, the headset I was given was broken (and I didn’t know it was broken, so apparently people were giving me orders that I never even heard) and my boss was yelling at me to do things in an extremely thick accent the whole time. After fifteen minutes or so, I was taken off the drive-thru and reassigned to cashier. Not sure why.

On the bright side, yesterday I managed to go four full hours without embarrassing myself. I figured out where almost everything was on the menu, I understood how to make the coffee and the ice cream machine was broken so I never had to make any cones. Of course, tomorrow it will probably be fixed and all hell will break loose, but that’s in the future so I don’t really care.

In other news, I am afraid of my AP English teacher. Not because he’s a mean guy—far from it—but because of his eyes. He has full on crazy eyes, combined with a face eerily similar to Jack Nicholson’s from The Shining. He seems like someone who had three wives die from falling down the same set of stairs. Except I should probably put quotation marks around “falling” just to make it clear that they did not fall. He doesn’t give a lot of homework though, so he’s still good in my book.

In other news:

  • I’ve learned how to juggle.
  • I tried crab meat for the first time, and I loved it more than any other food in the world. Then I ended up eating too much of it at once, and now the very smell of it makes me want to vomit. Crab meat is awful now.
  • I did a collaborative review for the Doctor Who episode Listen, on Engie’s blog. You could also check out all the other reviews here, because they’re fantastic.

To end this post, here’s a picture of a frog I drew. Feel free to give it a name.

wpid-wp-1411784898624.jpg*Except, of course, for all the Australians currently reading this. You guys are great. *laughs nervously*

Doctor Who Series 8 Teaser Trailer: An In-Depth Analysis

I’m back everyone, and I’m healthy now, too. I’d make a bunch of excuses for my lack of posting lately*, but instead I’ll just dive straight into the teaser, pointing out all the symbolism, hidden meanings and foreshadowing that many of you less intelligent folk might’ve missed.

0:00: A pitch black screen. Is this Moffat’s way of saying that the new series will be darker and edgier than ever? If this means more Game of Thrones-esque beheadings and nudity, I hope so. Or perhaps it symbolizes the darkness inside the Doctor’s soul, which may play a major part in his journey to find Gallifrey and his ultimate decision to bring it back into the universe. Only time will tell.

0:01: Just like the Twelfth Doctor himself, the title pops up out of nowhere, for some reason. I believe this means we can expect more scary monsters to appear, which makes me optimistic for the show’s future.

0:02: Notice how the title starts out big and shrinks to a smaller, more reasonable size. This may foreshadow a decrease in the Doctor’s self-esteem. This is a brilliant, inspired piece of plotting, if you ask me.

0:04: We are shown a split second glimpse of the Doctor standing in the Tardis interior, with flames/weird lights bursting from the interior. Perhaps that’s not actually the twelfth Doctor, but The Master instead? It would explain why the Tardis doesn’t appear to be in a healthy state. Actually, there are rumors that the new companion, Danny Pink, is actually the Master in disguise, and it looks like this teaser has just confirmed it. Wow, way to give away such a major twist already, Moffat. Geez. Trailers reveal way too much these days.

0:05: Now the screen is completely blank again, almost definitely representing a companion’s death. Looks like Clara won’t make it to the ninth season, by the way things look. Killing off a major character is a bold thing to do, especially for a children’s show, but I think I like this new dark, pessimistic direction the show seems to be taking. It’s much more… sophisticated, in my humble-yet-superior opinion.

0:06: The shot keeps flickering while spooky music plays in the background, which makes me wonder: could series eight actually be a continuation of the one of the most subtle story arcs in the show’s history? Think about it: there were a lot of instances where light was shown flickering. Three times in Asylum of the Daleks and also in Blink, The Time of Angels and Flesh and Stone. What do all these episodes have in common? All were written by the Moffat himself. We might have just found ourselves in a story arc starting all the back from series 3. Perhaps even earlier.

0:07: I like the clever juxtaposition of the dark, ominous background music and the happy DW logo that brings hope and joy to Whovians all over the world. Well done, Moffat. I never knew you have such a great sense of cinematic art.

0:09: Remember how River Song, back in series 5, said how the Tardis wasn’t actually supposed to make that sound—it was just the Doctor leaving the breaks on? Well, perhaps that wasn’t just some throwaway line, and actually some very subtle foreshadowing on Moffat’s part. Here we hear the Tardis sound, and we know that the Doctor is on the search for Gallifrey. Perhaps this is symbolizing that the Doctor is subconsciously stalling himself from finding his home planet? He says he wants to find it, but perhaps he is secretly afraid of what he’ll find? Man, that is deep.

0:10: There is a bright flashing light that then dissolves into the BBC One logo, that looks eerily similar to the Tardis exploding. Could this mean the show plans to revisit the events of series 5?

0:11: Now you could see “The New Doctor Lands,” while familiar, catchy music plays in the background. Notice how it says ‘lands,’ and not ‘arrives’ or ‘is back.’ Clearly, this is alluding to the Doctor landing on Gallifrey, or perhaps Earth or some other planet? Looks like we can expect to see new alien planets this series, or perhaps a Titanic themed episode. Or maybe the Slitheen are making a comeback.

0:13: Now “This August” is added. Notice how it doesn’t clarify on which series it is. This is probably because of the whole series/season** conflict, and the show runners don’t want to start a bunch of arguments in the comments that go a little like:

U.K. fan: It’s series 8, not season 8. Get it right.

American fan: Actually, this is a season. The show as a whole is what you’d call a series. Gosh, get a clue, stupid Brit.

U.K. fan: Maybe in America, where everyone is fat and lazy, but this is a British TV show, and thus should have British terms applied to it.

American fan: I’ll have you know that you British folk are almost just as bad as us when it comes to obesity rates, so you can’t really say anything there. Go drink some tea and watch Top Gear, loser.

U.K fan: Sorry, I couldn’t hear you, over the sound of our UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE!!!

Sheldon: Bazinga.

So that was a wise move on Moffat’s part.

0:14: The teaser trailer ends, leaving us with quite a lot to work with. From just fourteen seconds, we now know that:

  1. The show will head in a darker direction. We can expect beheadings and nudity.
  2. A plot twist regarding the series five finale will be revealed.
  3. Amy Pond will make a return, along with the Slitheen and the exploding Tardis.
  4. This will be the most aesthetically impressive series.
  5. The Doctor will land somewhere.
  6. Series 8 will air in August.
  7. That’s it, really.

*I had mild elbow pain. You can’t possible expect me to be productive when I have mild elbow pain, can you?

**In the United States of America, and several other countries, I assume, shows are divided into seasons, and as a whole are considered series. While in the U.K. and other countries, an American season is considered a series. This causes all sorts of confusion and misunderstandings and several tragic deaths, yet both sides refuse to agree on a single term. Also, I apologize if I offended anyone with that fake argument above, but in my defense, I’ve seen several conversations on YouTube that were startlingly similar.

Also, check out Tess the Dancer’s entry for my blog party. It’s so terrible that it made me wonder whether the terribleness was actually intentional or not, and I think that was the point, so great job, Tess.

The Grammar Police

Ranking the (New) Doctor Who Companions

Everyone has a favorite companion. Also, everyone had a least favorite companion, and I’m going to take it upon myself to rank Rose Tyler, Captain Jack Harkness, Mickey Smith, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, Wilfred Mott, Amy Pond, Rory Williams, River Song, and Clara Oswald in the order of greatness that I see fit.

Chances are, you will disagree with me on at least one point (most likely #10). Try not to respond with hostility.

10) Rose Tyler

First, let’s talk about the good things about Rose here: she’s brave, and she was a lot of fun with the ninth Doctor. Series one Rose would’ve ranked much better on this list. But with the tenth Doctor? She was annoying.

*Takes cover from all the 10/Rose shippers.*

In series 2 she went from a cool, likeable companion to a petty, selfish jealousmobile.* She and 10 were pretty nauseating together, at least in my opinion. What was even worse was when the Doctor spent most of the next series moaning over Rose, and ignoring the much cooler Martha Jones. And then the show brought her back not once, not twice, but three times. (Of course that last time she was actually a weapon of mass destruction taking Rose’s form, but I’m trying to make a point here, so shuddup.) Not only was this annoying for the group of fans who didn’t like Rose, but it mostly ruined the effect of “Doomsday,” which I thought was mostly great.

Best episodes: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, The Impossible Planet/The Satin Pit, Father’s Day.

9) Clara Oswald (AKA: Oswin Oswald/Clara Oswin Oswald.)

I liked Clara in her first two episodes. In Asylum of the Daleks she was competent,  funny and extremely likeable, while still showing concealed vulnerability (such as the scene when the Daleks were banging on the doors). The Snowmen Clara was extremely Mary Sue-ish, but she was at least interesting and fun to watch.

And then modern day Clara showed up, who’s basically just a really boring version of the last two. The show was too wrapped up in the mystery of Clara to actually focus on her character development, which as it turns out is the most important thing to do when writing a story. Also, I can’t be the only one disappointed that the show decided not to have a companion from the Victorian era. Can’t we once have someone in the Tardis who isn’t from modern day London?

My problem with her is that she doesn’t have any noticeable flaws. She starts beginning to feel like an almost real person in The Time of the Doctor where she calls herself a bossy control freak, despite never giving the audience the impression that she was in fact, a bossy control freak. Also, she secretly fancies the Doctor (yawn).

Best episodes: Asylum of the Daleks, The Snowmen, and The Time of the Doctor.

8) Captain Jack Harkness

This doesn’t include his time on Torchwood, because then I’d probably rank him a bit higher.)

Jack is basically the Han Solo of the Doctor Who universe: a time traveling, pansexual Han Solo. He was terrific in his first series. Unfortunately, he was, for the most part, completely useless in the third and fourth series. His main job was to flirt with people and say a couple cheesy one liners. That doesn’t stop him from being a bad ass, though.

Best episodes: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, Bad Wold/The Parting of the Ways.

7) Mickey Smith

Mickey is a lot like Rory, except Rory actually got the girl while Mickey lost Rose to the Doctor. Not sure why he liked Rose to begin with, but you still gotta feel bad for him. He also turned into a tough, competent warrior in the second season, and was really the only main character in that series to get any type of character growth.

Best episodes: Rise of the Cybermen/Age of Steel, Doomsday.

6) River Song.

River is like the female Jack Harkness, but with better hair. People call her a Mary Sue, (ironically, they often do this right before calling her selfish or arrogant), but I like how she gets more more flawed as we go back in her time stream. It’s reverse characterization, and I think that’s clever.

Sure, she’s selfish. She even stated that losing the Doctor would cause her more pain than the suffering of the universe combined. But hey, at least she has the whole, “I was brainwashed into a psychopath” excuse to fall back on, whereas Rose has nothing.

Best episodes: Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon, The Name of the Doctor.

5) Amy Pond

Amy gets a lot of hate, for her dismissal towards Rory and her supposed lack of character development. But what I like about Amy is that she’s perhaps the only companion who gets completely screwed over by the Doctor in her first episode.

A magical man in a time traveling box swoops into your life as a child, promises he’ll be back in five minute to take you traveling across the universe with him, and then he doesn’t return until twelve years later. Of course you’re going to have some issues to work out.

In The Eleventh Hour, you can see how she’s afraid to form any close, meaningful connection with anyone (she’s even embarrassed about dating Rory), probably because the last person she formed a meaningful connection with did the dip and never returned for twelve years when she was a kid.

(Not cool, Doctor. Not cool at all.)

Then as the show goes on, you could see her starting to heal from all the damage the Doctor caused her. Amy from series 7 is a lot different than Amy from The Eleventh Hour, and that’s a good thing.

Not to mention she has the greatest, most piercing scream out of any of the Doctor Who companions.

Best episodes: Amy’s Choice, The Girl Who Waited, The Angels Take Manhatten.

4) Donna Noble

I have to admit: I hated Donna when I first saw her. She spent the majority of The Runaway Bride screaming and being as unhelpful as possible. When I heard she was coming back for series four, I was annoyed with the show runner. What was RTD thinking, bringing this annoying woman back into the show?

As it turns out, bringing Donna back was one of the best decisions Russel T. Davies ever made, as she became more and more likeable as the show went on. I assume the main reason most people seem to love her is because she and the Doctor had a non-romantic, platonic relationship, which was a breath of fresh air after getting two companions in a row who were both in love with him. She also challenges the Doctor, like in The Fires of Pompeii where she convinced the Doctor to save that one family.

I also enjoyed the way her storyline ended. Getting rid of all her character development was much more tragic than killing her off could have been, and I’m a huge fan of tragedy.**

Best episodes: The Fires of Pompeii, Partners in Crime, Turn Left, The Unicorn and the Wasp.

3) Rory Williams

Rory has the same character development as Mickey, but he has the advantage of having waited 2,000 years for Amy, and was a nice enough guy to not rub it in her face for the rest of their lives. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was all:

Rory: “Hey we should buy a trampoline.”

Amy: “I don’t know, there’s not enough space—”

Rory: “TWO THOUSAND YEARS!”

Amy: “Okay fine.”

But the fact that he didn’t just shows how great of a person he is. Rory is a saint.

Best episodes: The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, A Good Man Goes to War, The Angels Take Manhattan.

No, she wouldn’t.

2) Martha Jones.

Martha is, as the kids say, “the bomb.” Unlike Rose, her love for the Doctor never defines who she is, and she’s not the type of hot-head to say to their family: “Screw you, people I’ve known my whole life. I’m going to leave you all forever for this dangerous guy who constantly puts me in mortal peril.” *Cough cough Rose cough.*

And unlike all the other companions except Amy, she left the Doctor on her own terms, choosing to leave him behind for the sake of her family. That alone makes her on of the best companions.

Best episodes: Family of Blood/Human Nature, The Last of the Timelords.

1) Wilfred Mott

I hated The End of Time. Just the mention of it angers me and makes me want to go outside and steal candy from children. But it had one saving grace that raised the rating of it from a one out of ten to a four out of ten: Wilfred.

He’s the best. Not only is he totally rocking that antler hat of his, but his optimism, his compassion and general grandfather-y personality makes him the best companion we’ve had since at least the reboot.

Best episodes: Any episode he’s in.

Since I know for a fact that most of you will disagree with me, I set up a poll.

*If you ever use the term “Jealousmobile,” make sure to give me credit.

**Fictional tragedy is the only kind I like.

The Time of the Doctor: A Review

Caution: Lots and Lots of Spoilers for the latest Doctor Who Christmas Special.

The bad:

As it turns out, having the daleks forget all about the Doctor in Asylum of the Daleks served no other purpose than to end the episode on a high note. Boo!!!!

Tasha Lem dies, and is used as a dalek puppet. But she managed to fight off the daleks from controlling her mind (already hard to believe considering an eye stalk just popped out of her head) and is back alive again, just as fine as she was before. How does that work? She died. Moffat, you should take a lesson from George R. R. Martin and learn to start killing off main characters.

Speaking of Tasha Lem, she had almost exactly the same personality as River Song. Boo!!!

The Doctor using regeneration energy to kill all his enemies was a bit of a stretch**, especially since the time lords giving him the energy in the first place was already a bit of a deus ex machina. It wasn’t as bad as, say, The Last of the Timelords, but still.

I’m glad that the series six plot-line got wrapped up, but the way it did seemed made up on the spot, which it probably was. Hey, at least it made sense. Mostly.

The good:

Is it me, or did Clara actually show some character depth in this episode? We finally get to see her family, and she showed all these brand new emotions we’ve never seen before. Combine that with Jenna Coleman’s acting, and Clara (almost) stole the show.

I don’t get the complaints of it being overly convoluted. Compared to episodes like The Big Bang (which I loved) or The Wedding of River Song (which was okay), this was fairly straight-forward, and tied up all the loose threads from Eleven’s era.

Was anyone genuinely upset when Handles the Cyber-head died? I was hoping he’d be a K-9-like companion for a while.

As much as the plot needed some work, I must say, Matt Smith was at his very best here. Everything you could like about his Doctor was in this episode, and the ending was all the more powerful for it.

Speaking of the ending, the regeneration scene was handled perfectly. The Eleventh Doctor went out happy and optimistic for the future, instead of whining the whole time about how he doesn’t want to go. Cough cough The End of Time cough*

Peter Capaldi was only shown for about thirty seconds, but the few moments we did get with him were great. I like him already.

Things I’m not sure about:

Did the doctor just age at least six hundred years in one episode? Not sure how I feel about that.

Stop bringing back the Weeping Angels! They’re cool and all, but every time they show up, they become even less scary. I think they never should have returned after the Time of Angels two-parter.

What was up with the super-quick regeneration? Capaldi just popped up out of nowhere.

Overall Rating: 7.45/10. Flawed, but the two main characters held it all together. Also, the feels.

*To be fair to the Tenth Doctor, he was having a really bad day.

**By a bit of a stretch, I mean it was a huge stretch. Not even Mr. Fantastic could stretch that far.

To end this post on a high note, I should point out that today is my blog’s one year anniversary. To celebrate, I made myself a cake.