As my long term followers will know, I work at McDonalds. What they don’t know is that for the past four months or so, I’ve been working almost exclusively at the drive-thru, to the point where I almost miss the front counter.
That being said, there are all types of people that come through the drive-thru, and some of them are pretty chill. The ice cream man went through it once (I bought a snow-cone from him, and my manager yelled at me afterwards for holding up the line), and this one lady threw a bunch of condoms at me. (“You’ll need them more than I,” she said, and I swear I’m not making this up.)
But others are either a) terrible excuses for human beings, or b) just really annoying. And today I’m going to cover ten of those types of people who really grind my gears, starting with:
1: The people who hand you crumpled up money.
I don’t know about you guys, but when I hand people money, I make sure said money is straightened out, for convenience’s sake if nothing else. I used to hand them crumpled up one dollar bills, but then my fifth birthday came up and I was simply getting too old for that sort of shit.
Some people haven’t figured that out quite yet, and proceed to hand me a sweaty ball of crumpled up money, and it’s both disgusting and a hassle to count, especially when it’s busy.
2) Customers who don’t speak to you unless absolutely necessary.
Ugh, these people. When they pull up to the first window, I’ll usually greet them with a “hi, how’s it going?” and these people will just ignore me. They’ll simply hold their credit card/money out the window without even acknowledging my presence.
“Ugh, how dare you speak to me?” their attitude suggests. “You are but a lowly fast-food worker, unworthy of my attention.”
3) People who start screaming when you ask them to speak clearly into the microphone.
These people will say something that I couldn’t quite understand, so I’ll politely ask them to repeat it. They’ll then respond by SCREAMING IT AS LOUDLY AS THEY CAN. Surprisingly, this doesn’t help much.
I think these people have an issue similar to the whole “Internet Tough Guy,” meme. They are so much more rude and obnoxious than they’d ever be if they were talking to me face to face. I know this because the people who scream and give me attitude through the speaker are usually so quiet and well-behaved when they get to window.
4) When people ask for “a happy meal,” and leave it at that.
There are multiple different types of happy meals, and they all come with a selection of apple slices/gogurt, a choice of a drink and a choice of a toy. So when this happens, it could really slow things down, especially with the more grouchy customers.
Here’s some of the orders
- I’d like a happy meal.
- What type of happy meal would you like?
- A. Happy. Meal.
- *quiet sigh* The happy meal comes with a choice of [lists choices]
- Oh, I’ll have to mcnuggets.
- Is that the six piece or the four piece?
- *long pause*
- The four piece.
- “Okay, would you like apple slices or gogurt with that?
- Uh, just fries please.
- It comes with fries automatically, but it also comes with a choice or apple slices or gogurt.
- “Apple slices or what?”
- “It’s yogurt.”
- Oh. I’ll have the apple slices.
- Okay, and what would you like to drink with that?
- It comes with a drink?
That’s over a hundred words, and I haven’t even gotten to the toy selection. This gets particularly annoying during lunch, when every other person is getting a happy meal for their kids.
That being said, the best types of customers are the ones who answer all those questions for you. If you come through the drive thru and say, “can I have a four piece happy meal with apple slices, an apple juice, barbecue sauce and the [name of current toy]?” I will forever be grateful for your cooperation.
5) Parents who smoke with their children in the car.
It’s just like, come on, man. Giving your kids long-term health problems before they’re old enough to even know what a long-term health problem is? That’s fucked up.
I give these people an incredibly judging stare as I hand them the food/money.
6) People who complain to me about the prices.
If you’re upset about the prices, don’t complain to the cashier person, because there’s literally nothing s/he could do about it.
7) People who make obnoxious comments criticizing the drive-thru.
“Did you guys confuse the drive-thru for a sleepover?” one guy said to me the other day, when the drive-thru was going admittedly slower than we would’ve liked. Even if the drive-thru was going slow, this still strikes me a ridiculously weird thing to say.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him, “Did you confuse me for someone who gives a shit?”
Of course I didn’t actually say that, but I will forever wonder what would’ve happened if I did. I’d probably get fired, or something.
8) When people drive trucks with obnoxiously loud engines.
If your truck’s diesel engine is so loud that I can’t hear someone else’s order, that’s a good sign that you should never go through the drive-thru, ever. Go inside, you’d make everyone’s life a little easier.
9) Obnoxious teenagers.
Every once in a while a car will order something, only to drive off instead of paying. These cars are almost always filled with dumbass teens, and you could tell what they’re about to do because they’re giggling like idiots and they will talk to each other about what they’re about to do despite the fact everyone with a headset could hear the entire conversation.
I like to imagine their conversations as they drive away:
“Yo, sick prank, bro!”
“Thanks, bro, we totally got them! We’re so hilarious and original.”
“Everyone loves us, bro.”
“Totally, bro. We rock!”
*they then proceed to drive away, blasting terrible music with their windows down for all to hear*
10) People who are completely oblivious to the line of cars behind them.
The other day there was a good twelve cars in line, and they had to wait for this one woman to order.
- “Hmm, what type of salads do you have?”
- “We’ve got the bacon ranch salad, the southwest salad, and the side salad.”
- “What’s in the bacon ranch salad?”
- *reads the entire list of ingredients for the salad.*
- Oh. What’s in the southwest salad?”
- *reads entire list of ingredients for that salad as well.*
- “Oh, well, how do they both taste?”
This goes on for a while, and it leaves me with a nice closing statement. A public service announcement, if you will, for everyone who goes through the drive-thru of any fast food establishment:
If you don’t know what you want, and you have the option of going inside, go inside. Please, just go inside. This way you could look at the menu and decide what you want without blocking other people from ordering, and slowing everything down.
Also, if you’re just getting something like a soda, or a sweet tea, you could get it in the lobby much, much faster than if you were waiting in the drive-thru.
I’m just saying.
Make my life a tiny bit easier, please?