I’ve been working at Mcdonald’s for about five months now, and I can’t help but feel like my days there are numbered, and not just because I keep stealing the mcflurries. (They won’t let me get them as a crew meal, the bastards.) It’s just that the whole job’s starting to feel a bit . . . I don’t know . . . soul-crushing? Yeah, that sounds about right.
I’m hoping to quit Mickey D’s and find a new job at this nearby movie theater, because 1: they apparently give employees free movie tickets, and 2: it looks so much easier than my job at Mcdonald’s. That probably sounded condescending to movie theater employees, but I refuse to apologize until I’m proven wrong.
However, I’d like to apologize to the Mcdonald’s corporation as a whole, because I have a tendency to make them sound much worse than they actually are. Sure, the job’s “soul-crushing” (a bit over-dramatic, I’ll admit), but so are most minimum wage jobs, and when you compare them to working in an eighteenth century sewing factory, they’re really not that bad. In fact, working at Mcdonald’s has improved my social and communication skills, and has taught me the value of teamwork, discipline and responsibility.
Okay, I just copied the majority of that last sentence from a pamphlet I found titled, “Apply to McDonald’s today!” I didn’t actually learn any of those things. Well, except a little bit of the communication skills part. But the job did teach me a few valuable things that I may or may not keep with me for the rest of my life. Mainly:
1) How to perform under pressure.
Though I’m sure many paramedics will disagree, Mcdonald’s is a high stress environment. Especially when you see the line of customers pile up. And any mistake you make can lead to you being yelled at by either your boss or your customer. Possibly both. And because I’m not a fan of being yelled at, (few people are) I had to learn how to take care of many things at once in a short period of time, all while smiling in a believably sincere manner. I still make mistakes, more so under pressure, but I’ve gotten a lot better at handling it than I used to. I also learned that:
2) Adult customers are so much worse than teenage customers.
I believe there’s this rumor* going around about how kids and young people today are more bratty and entitled than ever before, which made it all the more surprising when it turned out that my worst customers were all at least twice my age.
Now, I don’t want you to think I hate all old people or anything, because in my humble opinion, old people are great. Betty White? Morgan Freeman? Olenna Tyrell? All great people, who I’d love to meet one day. Not to mention all the old people I know personally, such as my physics teacher, who looks like Santa Clause but is actually Usain Bolt in disguise. Or my grandparents, who are admittedly a tiny bit racist, but they give me money every time I visit, so I’m willing to look past that.**
It’s just that my older customers are much more likely to do things like:
- Abuse the shit out of coupons. (Seriously, where do they find all these coupons?)
- Pay for a cup of coffee with a hundred dollar bill.
- Get annoyed when I ask something like “Medium or Large?” as if this was the most obvious question in the world and I should’ve already known.
- Ask me to a put in an entire new batch of fries, and to leave it in for an extra five seconds so it’ll be extra crispy.
- Ask me to make another batch of fries and leave it in for an extra ten seconds, because that first batch wasn’t quite crispy enough for their tastes. (Seriously, we wasted seven minutes and two batches of fries just for this one customer.)
- Ask me, in a very concerned tone, if I get good grades in school, and if I’ve been thinking properly about my future.
Now, here’s a list of annoying things teenage customers tend to do:
- They mumble sometimes.
That is all. Sure, there was this one obnoxious, entitled little shit of a teen, but I’m pretty sure the only reason he was so terrible was from learning from his mother, who was even worse. (Remember people: it’s always the parents’ fault.) Oh, and I bumped into this kid at lunch the other day and he was just as rude to the lunch ladies as he was to me. I gave him the evil eye for about twelve seconds, but he didn’t notice. Oh well, moving on . . .
3) I really need to learn spanish.
This is a bit of a cheat, because I didn’t actually learn spanish, I just realized that I probably should, and I’m starting to regret having stopped taking that spanish class in school. The majority of the kitchen staff and at least a sixth of my customers speak spanish as their first language, which every once in a while will lead to communication problems. And that’s, like, the worst type of problem.
I blame the American public school system for not teaching a foreign language starting in first grade. Y’know, when kids are more easily able to pick the language up. Instead we wait until the kid is in seventh grade to start teaching them this stuff, which doesn’t make any sense to me.
Also, there are times when I suspect people are making fun of me in spanish (right in front of my face) and I would like to know for sure.
4) Customers are generally good people.
For every bad customer I get, there are about twenty-five good ones, along with a handful of genuinely kind, amazing people who can make your day. And lately there’s been a sudden increase in customers with irish accents. I have no idea why, but I don’t like to argue with a good thing, so I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts.
At the moment, I can’t think of anything else to say, which is a shame because I really wanted to have five points instead of four. It would simply work better. Oh well. Here’s a picture of a goat.
*there is some merit to this, seeing as I witness a small but loud group of bratty, entitled kids in my school treat the teachers like crap instead of with, y’know, any form of respect. I should write a post about this.
**does that make me a bad person? They are my family after all.