The First Book I’ve Ever Written

Today I answer the prompt from the very first TCWT blog chain, back in October 2011:

“What is the first thing you ever wrote of your own free will?”

Well, I believe my first written story was a comic book I wrote when I was five (six?) years old. Not to brag or anything, but it was the greatest thing anyone had ever written.

The comic starts off with a super long introduction to all the characters. The characters were all my best friends at the time. They all had numbers: #2, #3, #4, #5 and #6. Who was #1? Me, of course.

I should explain: we were a group of kids with super powers, appropriately titled, “The Super Power Kids.” I know. It was awesome. Each of us wore a number on their shirt so you could tell which one was who. I had the power of fire. #2 had super strength, #3 had the power to move things with his mind (I had never heard of the term telekinesis back then), #4 had super speed, #5 had the power to clone himself at will, and #6 could jump really high.

We got our powers by us all being struck by lightning at the same time. Despite its scientific inaccuracy, this might just be the greatest origin story in the History of Ever™.

Anyway, the villain of this story was my evil older brother (let’s call him Brian), who just happened to also be struck by lighting at the exact same time. Also, this lightning bolt somehow gave him all of our super powers combined.

So the seven of us went to battle. The Super Power Kids vs Brian. Each of us were polite and decided to attack him one at a time, and Brian easily knocked all of us unconscious. Well, except me, of course.

I said to him, “Hey, your shoes are untied,” and so Brian immediately looked down to check. As he let his guard down I lit him on fire and that was the end of it. The Super Power Kids had won their first battle (until the sequel, which was basically a rip-off of the Captain Underpants books).

Now that I think about it, the fact that six year old me wrote stories about setting his brother on fire is a little disturbing. In my defense, Brian was sort of a huge asshole. He once took my Harry Potter book, ripped it in half and threw it in the pool, then yelled at me to stop reading.

Also, every time I got a balloon, he would always pop it. And I used to love balloons.

Here’s a list of all the other participants in this blog chain:

October 15th — – A Farewell To Sanity

October 16th — – Eat, Sleep, Write, Repeat

October 17th — – Tay’s Tape

October 18th — – Novel Journeys

October 19th —- – Red Herring Online

October 20th — – Kirsten Writes!

October 21st –  The Incessant Droning of a Bored Writer

October 22nd — – Here’s To Us

October 23rd — – Teens Can Write Too! (We will be announcing the topic for the next month’s chain)


10 thoughts on “The First Book I’ve Ever Written

  1. That’s great. I think the first thing I wrote was a comic too! I think I was seven The only difference was I was not in it. In fact, the characters I had created have stayed with me my whole life and through them, I found my love of story telling, which transitioned me to my love of writing. BTW, when do you think TCWT will be returning to blogging?

    1. Hopefully, as soon as possible. The guy who runs it returned to Twitter a week or two ago after a lengthy absence, so hopefully this means he’s working on a December blog chain. If not, I’m afraid we’ll have to riot.

  2. very nice, really funny too! The first thing i ever wrote was a story about a turtle who was a cook and a serial killer. I still have the book, though it’s in pretty bad shape. The pictures are pretty gruesome for a eight-year old to draw. Thanks for sharing this!

  3. Your genius humor is what I’ve searched for my entire life. The way you present your content is so raw and uncensored (not in a dirty way). I’m a teen who’s loved writing and my passion for correcting my friends’ grammar has finally found appreciation. I first read your TCWT post and I’ve struck up an interest with the novella you have. I’ve been following you ever since. Keep up the great work!

    “And I used to love balloons.”
    Don’t stop the love!

  4. My first book was about a drug addicted porn star charred alive in his car, living in Dante’s 9 circles of Hell with a snake slithering up and down his morphine addicted spine.

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