Why I Actually Need School

I don’t hate school as much as the average teenager seems to. Sure, it sucks to wake up at six each morning, the bathrooms are disgusting, and the lack of air conditioners makes the last three months until summer vacation a living hell. But if I had to choose between going to school or being shot in the gut and left for dead, I’d probably choose school. Unless it was a Monday.

I’m going back to school on Monday and I couldn’t be more somewhat excited. The reason? There are many, and I will tell you after this picture of a cat.

Hey, this picture pretty much sums up this whole blog, right? Just kidding, this blog is hilarious.

Reason #1: It gives me something to complain about.

“I hate having two and a half months of free time where I can do anything I want!” said no one ever. Summer is a worry free time, and all summer-related problems are usually invalid anyway (except for heat stroke, forest fires, malaria, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I’m conveniently forgetting for the convenience of this post).

During the school year, I have an infinite list of things to complain about: “I hate waking up before the sun comes out and having to walk to the bus stop in freezing cold weather.” “Why does everyone walk so slowly in the hallway?” “My dog lit my homework on fire using two sticks and a magnifying glass and my stupid teacher doesn’t believe me.” These are all valid complaints. And to be honest, complaining is fun. It gives us all something to talk about.

Reason #2: I’m motivated to write more.

If you were to make a line graph showing my productivity throughout the year writing-wise, the line would stay mostly the same throughout the first six months of the year. Then, halfway through June, the line would dramatically decline, creating a three month valley, as the line would then increase the same rate around the beginning of September.

If I were to guess, I’d say this happens because during the school year, I use my brain more often, watch much less TV and I’m no longer allowed to sleep twelve hours a day. I also, on average, interact with a lot more people on a daily basis. I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said, “Interacting with more people can serve as inspiration for your blog posts and shit.” I’m paraphrasing, of course, but you get the point.

Reason #3: I miss my school’s library.

Because I was kicked out of the town library, I have to actually pay for my books during the summer. I have to be absolutely sure the book’s going to be good before I buy it. otherwise I just wasted ten bucks I could have spent on food instead. Luckily my school has a pretty big selection of available books (except no Neil Gaiman, for some reason), so I’ll be saving a lot of money during the school year.

Reason #4: All my favorite shows return during the school year. 

The final season of How I Met Your Mother, along with Modern Family, Doctor Who, Sherlock, The Walking Dead and a bunch of other shows I’m forgetting about, return during the school year. (Except maybe Sherlock. No one knows when that will air.)

In addition to that, Catching Fire is coming out in November, and from the trailer it looks great. Dr. Sleep, a sequel to The Shining by Stephen King, is coming out this month, and the final book in the Divergent trilogy is coming some time in October. So I have plenty of things to look forward to.

And no, it’s not depressing at all that the things I’ve been looking forward to most this year are TV shows.

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6 thoughts on “Why I Actually Need School

  1. I’m more productive, writing-wise, during the school year as well! I think it’s because I know I don’t have much time and I have to get my act together if I want a blog post every other day. I can’t procrastinate.

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