Guest Post: 10 Ways to Convince People that You Are Insane

Hey, remember that awesome guest post contest that I had that got millions (and possibly billions) of people excited? Yeah, Amanda Fischer won it, writing the 200th comment. Here’s her post:

Hey everyone! I’m Amanda. My blogs are Everyday Adventures and http://charactercentral.wordpress.com/ (the second one is for my characters). Apparently my comment about giraffes was numero 200, so… here I am.

ANYWAY! On with the post!

10 ways to convince everyone you are insane, in no particular order:

  1. Talk to yourself. While other people are listening.
  2. Talk about your characters as if they were alive (assuming you’re a writer–because, to us, they are).
  3. Make random exclamations such as: “Aaaah! Here comes the purple monkeys!” in the middle of talking to someone (just don’t interrupt; that would be rude. Interrupt yourself or use it to break the awkward silence).
  4. Name inanimate objects, and/or pretend that they are alive. My family named the GPS “Garmin Paul Smith” (it was a Garmin GPS), and when we talk about it in front of people, they definitely think we are insane.
  5. Walk around like you’re looking for something, and when someone asks what you’re doing, abruptly stop and say something like, “Trying to find the meaning of life. I know I lost it around here somewhere.”
  6. In an elevator full of people, ask someone to push the button for a floor that’s not listed, then make a big fuss when they tell you there isn’t a button for that.
  7. Act hysterical about something that definitely doesn’t call for hysterics.
  8. Make up words and use them frequently.
  9. Interview one of your characters out loud. Complete with acting. This is sort of numbers 1 and 2 combined–doubly insane. Mwuahahaha.
  10. Practice your evil laugh and use it very often.

This concludes my fabulous list. What about you? Assuming you’re at least partially insane, what do you do that makes you such?

(And, thanks, Matt! This was fun to write!)

I hope that last question wasn’t rhetorical, since I’m going to answer it.

You assumed right; I am insane. I’m the very definition of insane. If you look up “insane” in the Oxford dictionary, you’ll find a picture of me jumping off a giant pyramid of cows with my pet dinosaur in one hand and a flaming stick of dynamite in the other. People think I’m insane because I often finish their sentences (and I’m almost always correct, although they won’t admit it), and I often sneak into people’s houses at four in the morning just to say “Good Morning!Also, here’s a goat: 

Anyway, thanks for doing this, Amanda! Great guest post! I do a few of the things you listed, including #4 (Although my GPS is female, so I call it Gwendolyn Patrice Smith).

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8 thoughts on “Guest Post: 10 Ways to Convince People that You Are Insane

  1. We call our GPS “Sally”. And our car “Suzie”. Therefore, it gets very confusing between who’s driving and who’s directing…especially when both ar inanimate. Great tips to keep insane! Particularly 2. But I didn’t know that was a sign of insanity… XD

  2. I’m pretty sure I’ve done all these things, excluding number six. Which would explain why people tend not to stand too close to me. I didn’t even realize that I was insane. *shrugs and wanders off in her own little world*

    *comes back just in time to wink before the fade out*

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