This post was both inspired by both Liam’s Phil Phorce and Jeyna Grace’s Fan Fiction Novel, both of which are amazing. So I decided to write something similar to my blog much like what they’re doing except the plot is completely different (At least so far. I’m only just starting episode 2 of Phil Phorce and eight chapters into Jenna’s novel). It’s a Sci-fi Comedy about time travel with a bit of romance thrown in.

This isn’t a serious novel that I expect to get published or anything, but more of a fun story to entertain all you people. And to avoid confusion, the actual title of this novella is “My Super Awesome Time Travel Novella.”

Also, feel free to criticize my work as much as you want. Seriously, I need criticism.

Chapter 1: This is Really More of a Prologue

Chloe Brooks is quite possibly the coolest girl I’ve ever met, and that’s not the type of compliment I pass around lightly. She’s charming, lovably geeky and contains the greatest sense of humor a guy like me could ask for. For me at least, she’s perfect.

Oddly enough, I barely knew who she was until 2 months into my Freshman year of High School. I remember it with exceptional accuracy: it was halfway through eighth period Social Studies, and I had just recently been dumped by this girl named Vicky who was upset that I never took anything seriously. This is partially true–but to be fair we had only dated for a week, and she was annoying. Meanwhile, Chloe was dating some jerk named Dennis.

(Quick note: Dennis is actually a nice, respectable guy, but this story works much better if you imagine him as jerk.)

“…Women rarely owned property, due to the prejudice views towards women during this period of time,” said Mrs. Rippa’s monotonous voice. Her last word caused me to reference a famous quote from Doctor Who, even though I knew no one would understand it.

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause and effect, but actually, from a non linear, non-subjective viewpoint–” I stopped, feeling the blank stares of the whole classroom upon me, wondering just what the hell I was talking about. That’s the problem with going to my school– you could make hundreds of references to Doctor Who and no one will get them. Up until that point I was sure I was the only Whovian within miles of my town.

“–It’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly… timey-wimey… stuff,” said a lovely voice from the back of the classroom. The moment I heard it I found myself smiling uncontrollably.

I looked back to see Chloe Brooks, this girl who I almost never talked to before in my life, who hung out in a completely different group of friends and always sat in the same seat, four rows back and to the very side where no one ever looked, smiling at me with inside knowledge that suggested we were close friends. We stared at each other for what seemed like a long time before this kid next to me named Jimmy snapped me out of it.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?”

One annoying kid in the back asked almost the exact same question, and soon the whole class erupted into the loud chatter that was the most familiar sound in 8th period Social Studies, and within thirty seconds everyone had forgotten about that little incident but me. Oh how I love public school.

After that, Chloe and I became good friends. At first we bonded over our mutual love for Doctor Who, but our list of discussion topics expanded exponentially until I was closer to her than she was with some of her other friends. After a month or two she finally broke up with that jerk Dennis and a week later we started going out. The next six months were the probably one of the best six months of my life.

Anyway, the reason I’m telling you all this is because just five minutes ago I shot her in the face with my uncle’s pump-action shotgun and left her corpse in the woods to rot.

Don’t give me that look–it’s not what it sounds like. Because even though she’s almost definitely dead right now, I’m still sitting next to a living, breathing, fifteen year-old Chloe Brooks. She, at least, is as happy as ever, and hasn’t been shot in the face. Yet.

That’s the problem with being a time traveler. Once you screw up, you screw up for good, and there’s no way to take it back unless you come up with an overly complicated plan and/or you create a giant paradox that destroys the universe, and no one wants to do all that.

There are three things you need to know before you ever attempt to time travel:

  1. Time is not actually a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff. It’s really just one long, boring line that makes occasional slight turns.

  2. Don’t mess with your past self, your future self, your ancestors, or any historical figure, no matter how evil he/she is. In fact, avoid the past altogether. Traveling to the past for too long inevitably leads to you no longer existing.

  3. Time travel sucks.

I know I probably sound like an expert on time travel at the moment, but I’m really not. I’ve really only been traveling for a day or two, maybe three. It’s tough to keep track of time because in the time travel business, you rarely spend a full day in a specific time period. A lot  of crazy stuff has happened since I started time traveling. After all this, I simply zapped back to where I was seconds after I first started.

You’re probably very confused right now, and that’s understandable. I don’t think you even know my name. But don’t worry; I’m going to tell you everything you need to know, starting with how I became a time traveler to being with. It’s a funny story.

***

So what do you think? If this post doesn’t get a lot of views, I’ll probably stop writing these altogether. But hopefully that won’t happen. If you have any suggestions, criticisms, or questions of any sort, please comment below.

Also, you know that guest post contest I’m holding for the author of the 200th comment? I’m currently at comment 188.