The other day I went snowboarding for the first time in my life, unless you count the tiny hill in my backyard (which I totally mastered). After six hours on the appropriately named “Mt. Snow,” I figured out one thing: snowboarding is hard.
This didn’t come as much of a shock to me. After all, I’ve been told by lots of people that snowboarding isn’t easy to master, and I took their words with a grain of salt. Though in hindsight, I probably should have taken their words with two grains of salt, because it was even harder than I thought it would be.
For one thing, I fell at least twenty times during the beginner lessons and at least seventy times when I went down the hills. It wasn’t necessarily the falling that sucked, it was the getting back up that got me frustrated. Getting back up on a snowboard is like standing back up without using your hands–it’s definitely possible, but a lot harder to do after a couple thousand or so times.
I also suck at stopping. Every time I tried to stop, I end up catching an edge and falling. Although to be honest, falling isn’t painful at all. Maybe it’s because of the adrenaline causing me to not notice the pain or something, but I had only felt pain once during the whole trip, when I caught an edge and fell head-first onto the ice. I would at the very least have gotten a concussion if it wasn’t for my handy-dandy helmet (helmets do save lives, kids!).
Did I mention that there was this amazing Waffle place called “The Waffle Cabin?” I could have sworn I saw this place on the travel channel. The waffles (topped with melted chocolate) were the best damn waffles I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve had a helluva lot of waffles. These waffles completed my life.
There were a bunch of really cool people there, too. There was one bad-ass seven-year old snowboarder who was a million times better than me (way to help my self-esteem, kid) and a french guy whose name was Adrian, or at least a name similar to Adrian (his accent was as thick as the chocolate on those waffles I mentioned earlier).
Even though I’m extremely sore and horrible at it, I still can’t wait to go snowboarding again. Mostly for the waffles. And since I’ve had a full day of experience, I’m now certified to give newbies advice for their first day of snowboarding:
- Don’t have friends who would lie about the difficulty of a slope just to see you fall. Those are the type of friends that’ll get you killed. Stay away from them.
- Wristguards are your guardian angels. Make sure they’re with you at all times.
- Bring extra socks.
- Don’t listen to your mother when she tells you to put on fifty plus layers of clothing. If you do, you’ll either suffocate to death or drown in your sweat.
- Stay away from the yellow snow.
- Make sure there’s a Waffle Cabin nearby.